back from there to here

I am back at home and trying to adjust to a different time zone and, more confusing, a different season.

Now that I am back in a familiar place, I can reflect on the experience of being away.

On my last day in Buenos Aires, someone tried to mug me. He was on a motorbike and he grabbed my bag as he accelerated down the road. I held onto my bag and so also accelerated down the road a way. I still have my bag and a few bruises from the experience.
The incident made me feel a bit vulnerable in the city, so I am glad that it happened on the last day, and that I could return to a sense of home.

The experience of being in Argentina was an extraordinary opportunity for me to take time out of my own life, jobs and responsibilities and to completely immerse myself in something else. Now that I am back, it will be interesting to see if my regular video work will be affected by the research that I did in Argentina.

I looked at more of the tapes last night and there is definitely material that I want to keep working with. I plan to take time over Christmas to continue this project, and I am looking forward to seeing what comes out of it all.

Magali has gone onto Salta, I think. It is lovely to think of her going into the region that I was in 3 weeks ago. It seems to complete a circle somehow. I hope you are having a really wonderful experience, Magali. Let us know.

Blimey

I'm worn out.

Another chapter ends ... the process continues

As my time in Argentina draws to a close, I also feel it has gone so fast... just another day would be useful.

I hope we will have the opportuntiy to see everyone this evening at the festival, to continue our conversations, although the formal meetings have come to an end. And the blog continues. I have found out today it is public access... if people are interested direct them to http://southeastdance-buenosaires.blogspot.com/ and they can read but not add to the blog.

I feel like we are only just beginning. We have taken many steps forward in process, but having come from such different places... geographicaly, culturally, conceptually..... it is interesting to see the very very different outcomes of research.

It was useful yesterday after the talk and sharing at CIC, that people were exploring and discussing the concept of research. Research for me, needs to be appropriate to the area of exploration. What are the parameters? What are the questons? Often research is about investigating something new;a new way of working, a new theme, using a new method or approach. From my discussions with many people I get the sense that it feels a little luxurious in South America to have time to play and experiment. To not have to make something finished, complete... to not make anything at all.

In the UK in contemporary dance, it is very commonplace to have time and space to experiment and develop practice, but in film this is not as common.


I like Beckys words on when work becomes something other than research. I think the lines can be blurred. I have been considering the boundaries between research, work that has comes from research, research that becomes work, work in progress, professional development, practice based research, experimental work? I can go on. I would like to continue talking to artists about what it means for them and how they would approach research.

The main thing for me is the abiity to develop practice without pressure. This is something I would like to create more opportunities for.

I would love to hear about the projects beyond the end of the lab. The blog seems a useful way of staying in touch and continuing useful debate, but everyone is more than welcome to contact me directly.

That's it! The Lab is almost finished!
A presentation this afternoon and then, it's over... It feels so short!

I catch myself wishing we had had more time for more... More in depth discussions, more time together, more debate... etc.

If we had had more time, I would have liked to have a couple of sessions with a proposed theme that people would have had time to think about and come in to discuss (sometimes it's good to allow time for individual reflection before coming together, it can deepen the debate)

I also wish we had had more time for debreifing. Have a sense of what everyone got from the exchange and what they felt could have been different... and I like the idea that this can be done via this blog.

I have learnt a lot from this experience and watching everyone work with all their different approaches, interests, culture. It's been fascinating to witness and being part of.

Something that I have come to realise through this time here is the importance of asking oneself questions and being specific with the answers when making work.

I see so many dance films which look to me like filmed 'work in progress' or filmed research: there hasn't been any precise decisions made in terms of structure, choreographic and filmic language and further more no consideration of the audience. There has been no selection. Everything has been put together without any thought, so it seems.

And as an audience, I am left with a lot of work to do... and/or not enough.
It's a fine balance between being too obvious and being completely unspecific.

In one extreme, there is no room for interpretation, for the audience to formulate their own throughts, they are being dictated what their experience shoud be. In the other extreme, I have to do the work of the director, of the editor and try to work out what it is that is important, what it is that I am being given to see, to read? Almost like trying to understand a loosely made up language.

For me, the best dance films, find themselves in the middle: they are neither too obvious, neither unspecific. They suggest things rather than show everything and through their subtelty, an intention is drawn out which is very clear, either intellectually, emotionally or kinesthetically.

I beleive asking onself questions can really lead to this. Questions are a key, even if they have no answers just yet. They need to be constantly thrown in and considered and thought upon. Thouroughly.

getting to the point

Today, I feel like I have taken more in, and had many internal discussions with myself, than the rest of the week.

It seems very heavy with conversations that I need more time to consider, I have kept many thoughts inward and have tried to listen more.

I saw something today in the festival, that has kept me thinking hours after the event itself was complete. I struggle with what exactly it was, about this work, that has caught my interest. I come to the conclusion, that I was drawn in by the message, and how it was delivered to me. I enjoy the fact that there was a message. A point.

Is receiving a message important?

words

I have come accross a couple of quotes which I find exciting and beautiful and seem to fit into some of the things we have talked about.

About the research process:

'The emergence of a piece depends on how the material is explored and placed.
A resonance emerges slowly- significance discovered rather than chosen.
[...]
The early stages of making a performance involve: searching widely, deliberatly increasing uncertainty, becoming lost, adding variety and complexity, following wild hunches, attempting the seemingly impossible...'

Miranda Tuffnell- Body, Space, Image



About the emergence of structure:

'As the work progresses connections begin to become evident between the various ingredients. A number of independent trails coalesce as a larger territory.

This effect of this clarification is to distinguish essentials from details and to indicate what can be discarded and what needs further development.

The moment of clarification will often come suddenly, in a flash of recognition.

Sometimes this will only occur at a laste stage, when material that has been worked on for some time, reformed in a new context, will suddenly gel.

Waiting for a clarifying structure to emerge requires both the confidence and patience to hold out for long enough and the skills to sense the possibility of resolution around the corner.

The structuring task is one of recognising an emergent form rather than imposing one. This requires a continual interplay between making and watching.'

Miranda Tuffnell- Body, Space, Image


About point of view:

'The only thing that I and nobody else can really call their own, is my own life and my own point of view. It took me many, many years to arrive at that conclusion.'

Krzystof Kieslowski.


About compromises and restrictions:

'I personally beleive that compromises which you have to make and this agreement to relinquish your own convictions in certain matters- some better, some worse, of course- are healthy. Because absolute freedom only leads to great work if you´re a genius.[...] Restrictions, necessary restrictions and necessary compromises give rise to a certain ingenuity, inventiveness, and inspire energies which enable you to find original solutions and ideas within the script.'

Krzystof Kieslowski.


About asking questions:

'The 'visibility' of any elements or event depends on how it is placed.
Continually asking questions:
What can I see/not see?
Is it too long/short/slow/fast?
How does this work with that?
Do I know everything i need to know about this moment?
What if...?
Monotony?
Time for a change? a surprise?
What scale of change?
What is missing from the piece? from the idea?'

Miranda Tuffnell- Body, Space, Image

Research

So I have a question about what is research in an arts context? How do you know when you have stopped researching and started doing something else.
Vicky says in her blog that there is no pressure to succeed, to create or to complete. And yes, I agree with the sentiment, although I could argue that in creative research, creating is an integral part of it. Certainly the pressure to succeed is gone and that is always a releif, although I believe that failure has to be a potential component in all creative endeavours.
All three of us on the lab have undergone very different processes in the name of research. Cayatana asks how her shoot appeared to us when we visited. I could say that it seemed to be very big and slightly stressful, but within that situation, the artists must have learnt something about shooting in that way, on that scale. So is that research?
I am always trying to place my own work as research, all of the time, because it gives me a safety net. On the occasions that I have not named my work 'research' I find myself dissapointed by the outcome. I take fewer risks, because of a need to succeed, and therefore the work interests me less. All of the work that I have made that I really like, all resulted from processes in which I did not know what the final outcome would be. I was not working towards an imagined result, rather I was just working, and then allowing myself to be surprised or delighted by what I came upon by accident.
The accidents within my process always exceed anything that I can come up with in my imaginings. Somnetimes, accidents have happened that have completly changed the way that I work.
I have been thinking about this in the context of wondering what I am researching here. Am I working towards something that will not be research? That will be something else? A production? I don't know. I feel that within the research that I have done here, there are results that interest me, but I don't particularly want to try to repeat those things and propose another shoot towards a final product. The work is already there, arising out of research.
Isn't it all research? Would't it be great if we could all do research all of the time, and then call the results of that research 'product'? Or 'art'.

impressions

Ola chicos y chicas!

this is rather nerve racking I find. Making your thoughts public. Something I always had difficulty with. Being out to the sight of others... So, voila...

This has been a very exciting experience so far. So many things to talk about.

It is lovely to spend this time with Becky and Vicky and get to know them better in a completely different environment than usual.

I felt very welcome by the Argentinian team: warm, inclusive, open, enthusiastic. Just like all the locals I meet here: open faces and desire to connect, communicate. So different from the pretended indifference of general english behaviour...

(I´m actually getting into this: sharing impressions and thoughts.)

My role here was very clear in theory: being available to support the development of and reflexion around the artists' practice and work. Offer outside feedback. Be a sounding board. Throw questions in the air. Provoque throughts. See. Hear. Feel. And describe it back.
Not impose anything but help the artist to make the best work they can.

In practice, it brings many questions to me about: how to feedback? what to feedback? so that it is useful and in line with what the artist needs at this point? I am so aware of the fragility of the creative process.

It also brings questions to me about what to base a critical comment on? How subjective am I being? What are my references? One thing I continuously come back to is what I have learnt from experience and from others in the time I have practiced and which guides me now in the work I do. This is what I can share. My understanding. And it helps me to define further what that is, which is extremely formative for me too!

In practice, I also feel that I am arriving too late and that the conversations I am having and the issues I am raising would have been more beneficial to the artists had we had them 2 months ago. Before anything was ready to be shot/fixed on tape as something final... In this way, at some point, my role felt a bit redundant, but there are thousands of conversations to be had anyway, which can bring reflection and insight at any point in the process... I'm looking froward to those!

More later.

besos

An outsider looking in

So I have landed in this city so very far away.

The total journey took about 18 hours and I was grateful of Magali's company as we travelled, (not least for her Spanish which is far beyond my shameful 5 word vocabulary). It is comforting to travel so far, with a familiar face.

The city hits you with its intensity. My initial response is that it is hot, very noisy, with an incredible amount of traffic on vast highways through the city centre. It is colourful, urban yet leafy, the buildings are high with the very old mixed with modern architecture. Some of the shuttered older buildings look French, it all feels famililar, quite European. Yellow and black taxis flash past very fast, too fast perhaps.

It is now day 6. I feel more at ease and settled and I am now more focused on work and the task in hand. Tango has been a serious sideline, I have a few steps and some fabuolous shoes.

I think l am here to observe, facilitate, network, see, experience, support, enable, contribute in some way .......

to other people's process and to view a body of work at the festival.

I am an outsider looking in.

I am fascinated by the process of making work.

It has been interesting looking at how each artistic team or individual is approaching the 'research opportunity'. I hope there is a sense of value for everyone. I think research means there is no pressure to complete, to succeed, to create..... maybe people view this in a different way? I hope there is room to experiment, fail and adapt to any circumstance.

Group sessions have thrown up interesting questions about audience, the dancing body, landscape, silence, interpretation of work, roles and narrative. Everybody has something of value to contribute, its just finding those connections between individuals.

Being part of this feels valuable and useful.

I like being the outsider looking in.

the phantom

hi friends from the lab.
i'm sorry i wasn't able to go to today's meeting. i have a big video to shoot next tuesday and lots of work to do for it. as you saw on sunday i have a thing with "big" productions. movies are HEAVY. i started feeling it in my body almost from the begginning. the first news of the day were that the pool-tent were we had planned it all was "sinking". Adapting to a new location was easy for the dancers but not for the production. Thinking back it seems as if the machinery had swallowed up the dance. What was your impression while being there?
Yesterday I got the pictures my stepmom took. I loved the images I saw, specially the night which was what the most worried to see I was. The girls really looked like a revised, poetic version of Esther Williams swimmers. From above, I remember, they looked uneven and funny and I thought of over imposing different takes with the different drawings they were doing over the water. Editing will be fun.
The underwater shots are sort of a mystery for me. It was hard to follow the camera underwater --the DP had a diver's suit, oxygen and the camera inside a capsule. I'm crossing fingers on focus but then again who cares about focus when you are seeing movement, colors, shapes.
Today the footage is being digitized. We are concerned about having to show stuff on friday!
I liked what I saw of Alejandro's shoot. Beautiful colors and compositions.
I'll try to make it tomorrow.
Besos,
cayetana

Wednesday

I can feel that I am getting really tired, and wanting to be home now. It's a long time to be away from all that I have there.
I can feel like I am talking into thin air here.

back in the city

Monday. B.A.

It is good to land somewhere and stay there. It is good to unpack my bag and wash my clothes.
It is good to get some space to reflect on where I have been and on what happened there.
It is hard to make sense of everything when you are right in the middle of it all.

I have begun to look at the material that I shot. It was a little terrifying at first, because I had no rewind function on the camera I was using, so in the back of my mind there was always the worry that the tapes could be completely blank, or digitally screwed up in someway. But all is well and there are marks on the tape.

Looking back at them reminds me of the decisions that I was making as I travelled. There are different sections of footage. There is material shot from the car of changing colours and textures. There are stills (I didn't bring a stills camera, so these act as a reminder of my time here) and there are sections of movement exploration. I have looked at 4 of the tapes so far and put material into the computer that I feel drawn to play with.

The footage looks like I imagined it would. Footage usually does to me. It reminds me that if I am not interested in it when I am shooting it, I will not be interested in it when I am in the edit.

There is a lot of material.
I am still not making a film. I am just putting things together in the edit suite to see what happens. Small chunks of stuff.
I don't think I will even get to see all of the footage whilst I am here in Argentina. This project will continue for a while yet.
The lab has started, and I must confess to some confusion as to what it is all about. Sophia and Alejandro are deep into shooting films and it seems hard to interrupt them with research questions. It seems inappropriate to get in the way of their making. We will meet again on Wednesday though, and their shoots will be done. Perhaps that will be a good time to reflect on where we are all up to.
There is lots to distract a person in B.A. Tango lessons, shopping, looking at the unfamiliar. And tomorrow the festival starts.
Bueno

And more blue

Tuesday. Patagonia.

Today we travelled by boat through Lago Argentino to visit four huge glaciers and a lagoon filled with icebergs. I can hardly beleive that I have been here - it is too extraordinary. And if you can find a way to avoid the other 250 people on the boat, then it is possible to experience the vast silence of this place. But 250 people are hard to avoid.

However, is you can do exactly the opposite of what they are all doing, it is possible to remain sane. So if they all crowd to the front of the boat to see the glacier it is best to stay at the back of the boat, in the hope that, at some point the boat will turn around to leave and then you can get a glorious uncluttered view of the blueness.

The blue is an optical illusion - the ice itself has no colour. But it appears intensely blue. Really bright blue.

The boat can work as a great tracking device although the harsh cold wind can leave me and the camera shivering. As you stand in front of these huge pieces of ice the air is freezing cold. It is all so completely opposite to what I was experiencing last week. Different temperature, colour, air, water and crowds.

But so worth it all to see this extraordinary place.

Looking for the potential of movement all of the time. I am not here to film scenery but to use the colours, textures, sounds and movement to create something that makes sense to me on video. Making tapes - not films or edits, but making marks on magnetic tape. Looking for what these marks might be.

Because simply filming the scenery is pointless. There is no way that I can represent the experience of being in this landscape with a video camera. Not from a boat with 250 other people. And as soon as I look at it all through the viewfinder I know that it is not what I can see with my eye. It looks flat.

Find the essence of the extraordinary though and it begins to make interesting marks on magnetic tape.

This journey is now over. I return to Bueons Aires tomorrow and will start to work with the images that I have collected. I have no clear ideas about what I might make with the material. All of the shooting has been so varied and there are a number of things that could be made. I have over 12 hours of footage (which is a lot for me), and I have never had a plan to shoot in order to make something. But I know that I have imagery that I am interested in putting through an edit, so I am excited about this next stage.

I have been imagining this trip for so long (since February) and now it is over. I did not know what to expect when I began, and I have seen such incredible things, and experienced so much that it is all blurred and foggy in my mind. I am incredibly tired, utterly exhausted. My eyes are tired and my right eye in particular as that is the one that has been peering down the viewfinder for the last 2 weeks.

It will be good to stay in one place for a while, but also I could go on exploring this place forever. It is such a beautiful county and I have only just begun to see it.

Blue

The glacier is bright blue and vast. Absolutely vast. And full of people. It is a shock after the silences of our trip up north. There is little freedon to spend time to look here. But all the same - the movement of this vast space is extraordinary. Huge chunks of the ice drop off into the milky lake below. Accompanied by a huge roaring cracking sound.

I am exhausted. The constant movement, the sights, the experiences, the packing and unpacking. I am worn out.

Mim King wrote me an email which I have copied below. It says it all better than I can right now.


Dear Becky...

here's the essay I told you about in my last email...

Jean-Jacques Rousseau wrote this in the middle of the 1700's!!!

Well over 200 years ago...

yet eternal words....as nature is.

 

X   mim   X

 

The sense of simple existence.

Everything on earth is in a continual flux - nothing stays constant or fixed. Our attachments to external things pass and change as things do. But there is one state where the soul finds a solid enough seat to rest and gather in all its being, with no need to recall the past or to press on to the future; a state where time is nothing, where the present lasts forever, with no mark of duration or trace of succession; a state where there is no feeling of deprivation or enjoyment, pleasure or pain, desire or fear - only that of our simple existence, which fills our soul entirely.
As long as this state lasts the person in it can call themselves happy, not with an imperfect, impoverished and relative happiness . . but with an adequate, perfect and full happiness, which leaves in the soul no emptiness which it feels the need to fill. This is the state in which I often found myself on the Isle de Saint-Pierre.
What is it that one is enjoying in such a situation? Nothing exterior to oneself, nothing but onself and one's own existence. As long as this state lasts one is self-sufficient.

Identification with the whole of nature.

A deep and sweet revery seizes your senses, and you lose yourself with a delicious drunkenness in the immensity of this beatiful system with which you identify yourself. Then all particular objects fall away; you see nothing and feel nothing except in the whole. . . I never meditate or dream more delightfully than when I forget my self. I feel indescribable ecstasy, delirium in melting, as it were, into the system of beings, in identifying myself with the whole of nature.